I’m Debra. I’d love to be your coach.
It could be that you’ve already discussed your situation with a therapist or counselor, or maybe told a close friend, but are still left feeling alone. We don’t blame them for not understanding, but how can they truly empathize when they haven’t experienced betrayal- let alone a betrayal such as this?
When we find ourselves in the earth-shattering situation of a husband‘s same-sex betrayal, the shock itself is enough to completely shut us down. Because let’s face it- we’re too ashamed to and embarrassed to confide in anyone with something so personal, right?
If you find yourself longing to connect with someone who’s been there, done that, and survived, I’m available. I know firsthand what it feels like to have a world suddenly crumble. It’s hard to know how to move forward! Everything that seemed normal before- eating, sleeping, and socializing, has now been turned topsy-turvy.
When there doesn’t seem to be any normalcy, we feel like our sanity is gone and move around like zombies for days- I know!
Are you wondering what’s going to happen next? If your marriage will survive? If your kids will be OK? And if YOU will be OK?
I have no counseling credentials nor do I claim expertise in diagnosing PTSD, but I do know what betrayal feels like and what got me through my seasons of confusion.
Embarrassed to admit I’ve been married twice and divorced twice, believing lies from the enemy that I was the common denominator, and that God couldn’t possibly love someone whose own husband no longer did, was my thinking back then- before I learned the truth about what God says about me.
I am no longer ashamed, and I now know nothing can separate me from God’s love. The shame and secrecy is gone. For whatever reasons, I’m convinced God allowed betrayals in my life so I would be drawn closer to Him, simultaneously gaining a passion for helping women who are going through betrayal just as I have.
I can be your coach who “gets you” without judgement. I know healing is a process that can’t be rushed- I continue to work on my own healing daily, and want to help you move forward, too.
If you’ve recently discovered your husband’s same-sex attraction or betrayal, or if you’re in the thick of it right now, or it’s in your past, I may be able to be the coach who provides the sound advice you need.
I’m all about healed marriages, and praise God when it happens. For myself, I spent years trying to make my marriage work and keep my family intact, but I ended up divorcing. What I’ve learned is that life can be messy. It doesn’t always turn out in ways we hope for, but through it all, God remains faithful.
If you’re in need of someone who’s been there, someone who has no other agenda but to come alongside to help, I’m here.
In the middle of my mess, I had no one to confide in who truly understood. I found no book to walk me through the storm- my church leadership lacked knowledge and skills dealing with same-sex betrayal trauma. Finding no one who understood, left me at a total loss.
If you’ve been feeling like this, let me be the one to help. We need a “battle buddy” who fights with us and for us, as we face life’s uncertainties. I’d be honored and humbled to be yours.
“Debra is an answer to a very specific prayer of mine…that God would put someone in my life who truly understands the hundreds of layers of emotions, thoughts, and questions associated with sexual betrayal trauma and a spouse who seeks same sex relationships. When she shares her story, and when she listens to mine, I am reminded that I am not alone. Debra understands the shame, pain, and agony that I have lived with for years. She’s a few miles further down this road I’m walking on and conversing with her feels like a trusted road map that keeps me focused on the destination, which is healing in Christ Jesus. It’s a beautiful thing to know that I have someone further down the road calling back to me with shouts of, “You can do this! I know because God has helped me do it, too!”
“My friend Debra is an inspiring follower of Jesus. She gave her best, tried her hardest, worked on her healing, but to our disappointment, her marriage did not make it. It takes two for a marriage to survive betrayal. Debra was my battle buddy in my early recovery. We supported each other through teary phone calls, prayer, coffee dates and attending support group meetings. Those who reach out to her when facing betrayal will be sure to find understanding, empathy, godly wisdom and support for this challenging healing journey.”
Gigi Hopkins, Be Broken Ministries Wives Care Coordinator