A Voice

Lord, hear my voice. Let Your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. Psalms 130:2 NIV

Have you or someone you’ve known experienced infidelity? Were you left not knowing what to say?  Oftentimes, the traumatized person may feel so much shame that they avoid the normal public places they once went to.  They end their social activities and begin living in shame and silence.  

I’m not writing this to place blame or cause guilt.  It is only to help readers  become aware of those around who may have a story that you are unaware of.  We all have a story, because we are all sinful and broken people.

This U-tube video may be a resource for anyone interested in helping fulfill the needs of a traumatized person who has experienced infidelity. 

In this TEDx talk on YouTube, Dr. Kevin Skinner said a sexually betrayed person requires three things in order to receive the support they need.

  1. They need to have someone fighting for them.  (They matter.)
  2. They need people who have gone through it before and understand. 
  3. They need a voice.  ( Thank you, Dr. Skinner, for your voice.)

In a Red Tent Living article the author, Jill English, addresses the way some churches deal with divorced people. By sharing her words, she gives the divorced person a voice (when she explains that some churches see a widowed or ill person worthy of receiving a casserole, but a divorced person gets overlooked).  Here’s the full version. https://redtentliving.com/2019/09/13/the-casserole-rules/ Thank you, Jill, for your voice. 

Max Lucado is currently preaching a series called Alive in Me, where he speaks about the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Recently, at the end of his message he offered a collective prayer, and during it I heard him say that if you are divorced, God affirms you. He gave a voice to an often overlooked person. Thank you, Max, for giving your voice. 

While writing my book it is my hope and desire to give a voice for the sexually betrayed person, who is often labeled as co-dependent or co-addicted, rather than a person having symptoms of post traumatic stress.

Listen well (if this resonates with you). IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.  If you are taking the blame from someone else, don’t. If you are blaming yourself, don’t. God sees you. He knows you. He understands. You are loved and it is going to be ok. You WILL get through this. I understand too, and I want to be your voice.


  1. Good insight Debra! Your words will help so many!! Thank YOU for being that voice for those who need to hear it!! Love you!

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