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Debra Wallace

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“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8 NIV

So what’s the broom for? (Keep reading!)

When I initially launched my website, I was embarrassed to write the words same-sex. Couldn’t I just write betrayal instead? I wasn’t even comfortable saying sexual betrayal. It seemed too painful and too shameful.

Part of me still believed the enemy- taunting me to conclude it was somehow my fault. I was certain I had caused my husband to stray. In addition to this, were the ever- present thoughts of having been married and divorced twice.

Yep, I’ve been there, done that. Not once, but twice. So somehow, I’d convinced myself I was the common denominator- that I had to be the factor in two dissolved marriages.

Girlfriend, please hear me loud and clear. The enemy is prowling about, seeking someone to devour. That someone, among others, is the betrayed spouse.

Satan wants us to believe there’s something wrong with us. He’s all about blame and shame. If we aren’t careful, we start believing his accusations and lies! This fact could have eaten me alive, and it almost did- but for the grace of God.

Contrary to what the enemy may try telling us, it’s not our fault. We are not the cause of our husband’s poor choices or bad behaviors. Our husbands are fully responsible and accountable for their own actions.

This is not to say we come with no issues of our own, but to say we are responsible for ourselves- for our own “baggage” whatever it may be.

Sometimes our past brings along wounds. Some may be from childhood hurts, others we picked up along the pathway of life. Talking it through with a counselor may help us deal with and mend these past hurts we’ve acquired.

There was a phrase we would say in my wives support group:

“I sweep my side of the street and my husband sweeps his.”

 You get the point. We’ve got to be doing what’s required of us and keep the focus on ourselves (what needs to change or improve). We don’t try fixing anyone else- because even when we try, we won’t succeed! 

Let’s keep our brooms ready for anything that needs sweeping. We’re on our way to healing! Amen.

One comment on “Not. Your. Fault.

  1. Starla JensenI love this! It’s beautifully written and so relevant for this time of year and for anyone suffering with grief of any kind. Going to share it with my good friend last post to other teenagers a couple months ago in an accident says:

    One of my friends years ago would say to me “stay on your own side of the street” when I would want my husband to do/be better. Same principle and quite helpful.

    Liked by 1 person

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