Healthy Detachment

Ever since my daughter was young, she’s been able to catch wild birds with her hands. She waits patiently, usually with birdseed nearby or in her hand. I call her my “bird whisperer”. 

She knows of course she can’t keep them (as much as she’d like to have them as pets). There comes a time she needs to release them.

This is the same principle behind healthy detachment. 

“Healthy detachment is a conscious choice to let another person be who they are or to let a situation unfold organically or naturally and to release attachment to the outcome.”  Vicky Tidwell Palmer

It helps us regain our footing. 

It is a “reset button”. 

It is focusing on our own healing. 

It is allowing others to take responsibility for themselves. 

It is learning to own our thoughts, behaviors, and feelings. 

It is releasing outcomes to God. 

It is sharing burdens with Jesus, while also bearing our own load. (Galatians 6:5)

It is listening to truth and not letting undeserved curses come to rest. (Prov. 26:2) 

It is trusting in and having confidence in the Lord. 

It is not selfish, but protects oneself. 

Ask yourself: Is it time for me to use the tool of healthy detachment?


  1. You may have posted about this writer/speaker before, but recently read an article by Darby Strickland about oppression. It was very insightful about what an abusive relationship can feel like, even if the abuse is not evident to outsiders. I found your post today insightful as well.

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