One thing women who’ve experienced betrayal trauma must do is grieve the loss.

It isn’t a one time event.

Similar to ocean waves, grief can wash over us unexpectedly. We can be easily triggered and out of nowhere, the grief appears, sabotaging our day.

Whenever this happens, I find myself saying, “ Stop and grieve,” and then if possible, I’ll stop my day to work through the feelings. It usually involves releasing some tears.

It doesn’t always mean we can stop what we’re doing, but grief needs to be acknowledged before healing can happen.


  1. Yes, waves. Sometime the waves come in unexpected posts that get sent via email or social media, where the site takes it upon itself to show you pictures of good memories, reminding you what you were doing “five years ago today … one year ago today…”

    1. I agree. Memories can remind us of what’s missing but I try to make new ones to replace the old. But I know it can be hard sometimes. Thank you for sharing.

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