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Debra Wallace

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Healing from Betrayal. Is it REALLY possible???

In college, I majored in Biology. So you’d think I’d be super interested in the neuroscience of how the brain is affected by trauma.

But guess what? I’ll leave the amygdala and frontal lobe to the neuroscientist. I don’t need to know the particulars of HOW the brain is damaged by betrayal. It’s enough to know it occurs.

However, I am interested in WHY and HOW brains heal.

What we already know is one’s brain hears and processes the spoken word. Over time, with repetition, one begins to believe audible repeated phrases.

And, it seems the brain is likely to remember negative statements more often than positive ones.

So in childhood or adulthood—if one hears demeaning words, one is more likely to remember and believe them—even if the words aren’t true. Our brain is programmed into believing what is pronounced over us is truth—whether or not it is.

During betrayal, at the height of deception, women get used to lies. The inaccurate, false information we take in messes with us and we begin to wonder what’s true and what’s not, questioning others AND ourselves. We don’t know WHAT or WHO to believe!

When challenged to memorize scripture, the lights came on. I realized the more I verbally repeated scriptures out loud, the more I believed they were true for me.

I continued to speak God’s Word—His Truths—over myself. Before I knew it, I was strong and confident, not just in myself, but because God’s powerful Word showed me my strength comes from Jesus. His Holy Spirit ministered to my weary soul. He restored me and gave me hope again.

As betrayed women, we often find ourselves “hoping and praying for a miracle” waiting to see a change in our spouse’s choices and behaviors. If we really want healing and restoration, we need to keep the focus on us—not them.

Could I encourage you to try scripture memorization? Put in the discipline and speak it out loud over yourself. God’s word does not return void. I guarantee with effort, YOU WILL BE BLESSED and little by little, day by day, increasingly experiencing God’s healing power.

4 comments on “Is Healing from Betrayal Really Possible?

  1. sedgegrass says:

    Hi Debra- Just wanted to let you know that I appreciate this email, what you’ve encouraged us to remember is so important and I am thankful for the reminder. Paula

    Sent from the all new AOL app for Android

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Paula. Appreciate and love you. 💗


  2. Susan Record says:

    HI Debra, such great wisdom! Thank you for sharing this. I can attest to what you are saying; hiding the Word of God in my heart and replacing lies with Truth is the way I was able to overcome trauma and be transformed, by renewing my mind in Christ Jesus Romans 12:2

    Miss you!


    1. Thanks Susan—Miss you, too!


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