In Jaqueline Winspear’s mystery novel, Birds of a Feather, she imparts wisdom into her characters that is informative for her readers as well. (The main character, Maisy Dobbs, also does a lot of deep breathing to clear her mind.)
In one chapter, Dr. Andrew Dean discusses some psychological thoughts with Maisy Dobbs, a private investigator.
I’m not aware of the author’s history, but I found it interesting that much of conversation between the two characters could also apply to women experiencing trauma from betrayal.
“If you were to name one thing that made the difference between those who get well quickly and those who don’t, what would it be?” asks Ms. Dobbs.
Dr. Dean goes on to describe the 3-fold necessities for healing. (In this case, he’s referring to injured soldiers returning from war, but read this inserting trauma from betrayal, instead.)
1.Acceptance. They must accept what’s happened to them. (Many get stuck at the point of the event when they were injured. They may say , “If only ______. Or maybe if I’d done ________.” It is difficult to move on. They keep thinking back to when it happened. They are stuck in time. Guilt takes over.)
2.A path to follow. They need clear steps to take. (Counseling or group therapy can help with this.)
3.Having a picture or idea of what they will do when they are better or improved. (Having a future to look forward to.)
If you’re ready to face betrayal with a new perspective, see if these 3 necessities are part of your healing, then think about how you might incorporate them into your plan for a future filled with hope.