Trusting Again

I found a website dealing with issues concerning women who’ve been sexually betrayed. Two posts caught my eye- one on courage, the other on trust.

One reader’s comment on a post read, “When trust is compromised, the fear that follows is a constant emotion.” Let that sink in.

The sad part that strikes me is the truth it entails. My heart breaks each time I think of women who’ve experienced betrayal-trauma and the ongoing struggle of learning to trust again. There’s always a lingering fear of what if it happens again?

Hearing advice on forgiving and forgetting often sends a betrayed woman into a tailspin. As Christians, we all know without forgiveness, we only hurt ourselves when we carry burdens of bitterness and resentment. On our path towards healing, by God’s grace, we learn to forgive the lies and deceit. But forgetting? Is that really possible? Can we put the hurt behind us and move on with life?

When our world comes crashing down and we realize the devastation and reality of betrayal- that it wasn’t a bad dream, it actually happened- there’s a cloud of dread that seems to loom overhead.

Facing another day often feels like an impossibility. There’s always the wondering and the what-if’s. Ability to trust was easy when we said, “I do”, but what now? “Will I ever trust anyone again?” we wonder.

The ache and longing we feel? Whether we’ve been betrayed, disappointed, or let down in life, whatever our circumstances have been- God put that feeling there so we would have a heart-desire for something more. Something only He can provide and satisfy in our soul.

It’s ok to feel the ache. On this side of heaven, it will always be there. But we do have the certainty of God’s promise that He will never leave or forsake us. It’s true. It’s real. One day as believers, we will know it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

While we still have hearts that ache, we can also be thankful, and have hearts of gratitude.

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