Getting Through Betrayal

A sweet little flycatcher diligently worked to build her nest on my front porch. 

At first, she was adding grass to four different locations on the rafters, but eventually decided on the closest one to the porch light. 

Attracted by the warmth, it would provide a bounty of moths  for her and her family to feast on. 

Enjoying her progress, I eventually sneaked a photo op when she flew away-  and cheered after spying three new eggs!

Several days passed and I was able to sneak another peek to see two had hatched. 

Then, just like that, the unthinkable happened. 

A pesky neighborhood magpie snatched the young family, destroying their future. 

Sickened by the thought. Distraught. Nauseous. Angry. Possibly even more-so than mother bird herself. Her D-Day had arrived, her family torn apart. 

Knowing how she felt, much like my D-day. The day I discovered the betrayal- the worst thing that could possibly happen. Not only affecting my immediate family, but extended family and friends as well. 

Have you experienced a D-day? If so, you may be dealing with the five stages of grief. They all correspond to how we react to loss. 

  1. Denial- Refusing to believe the loss is real.
  2. Anger- Frustration or fury occurs when we admit it really happened. 
  3. Bargaining- Striking a deal with ourselves in order to cope with pain. We may have guilt, trying to understand the why. 
  4. Depression- Experiencing sadness after knowing the truth- and that our life is forever changed. It’s natural, and it doesn’t mean we have a mental illness. 
  5. Acceptance- understanding the loss has happened (but it doesn’t mean we feel good about it).   

The stages may not always happen in order. We may often feel like our emotions are all over the place, and that’s OK. 

The pain will remain for a while, waves of grief often servicing when we least expect it, sabotaging our day. 

It’s hard-no doubt about it. But over time, as we trust in God‘s healing power, it happens. 

We are able to smile again, knowing God has a future plan- hope-filled and abundant. 

It. Will. Happen. Rest. Assured. 

As my pastor, Max Lucado, says, “It may not be quick, it may not be easy, but you WILL get through this.”

The key to getting through it?

Keeping our focus on Jesus. 

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