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Debra Wallace

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Litter. Disgusting, right?

While hiking on a familiar trail, I was glad I remembered to bring a grocery bag for collecting littered cans and bottles. 

Shortly the bag was full- a reminder of how as women experiencing betrayal trauma, we’re often left holding someone else’s garbage. 

Do you tire of picking up after people? I’m not talking about dirty clothes that missed the hamper or laundry basket. 

I’m talking about being the glue. Holding everything together when others do not claim or accept responsibility for themselves- hurting you and others. 

When we allow ourselves to be treated like doormats, (I did for years) sometimes we naturally continue in this behavior- feeling unworthy of respect or honor. We may blame ourselves, but we are NOT to blame. We ARE worthy of respect- and anyone who loves us should know this. 

If a spouse hasn’t already chosen to pursue healing and recovery for their sex addiction, it could still happen, but then again, it may not. It doesn’t mean one needs to continue being a doormat or garbage collector. 

Friend, you are clothed in strength and dignity. You know your worth. Hold your head up high and sweep your side of the street. He needs to sweep his. You need not feel guilty about his poor choices- he made them- not you. You are not the cause. 

Let God work. Pray for them and move on.

Choose healing for YOURSELF. Find a care group of sisters who “get you” and can offer support. Know you are not alone. There are battle buddies ready to help and remind you of your worth. 

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